“Trust yourself and trust others” is more than a slogan, it has become part of the DNA of contemporary humans. But how does it really feel to trust oneself? Is it a fixed state or a process? How does my internal trust transcend to my team, beneficiaries and partners? Why is it so fundamental?

A good base for overthinking, wouldn’t you say? Yet, investing in better understanding of the principle of trust is important for anyone who works in capacity development, learning and with people in general. Knowledge is the most precious gift, to be given and received with trust in its adequacy, quality, accuracy and timeliness.

It’s not easy to reflect on these questions in the daily work environment where we equal minutes with received e-mails, chase deadlines, and work with others. I have found my opportunity for doing these reflections in a reserved and dedicated time, with my coaches.

I’ve had two cycles of business coaching in my career. The first one I undertook and financed myself, when I felt non-creative and incapable of contributing anymore. The second is still ongoing, and it is provided by my employer, the CEF, with the purpose of supporting my adjustment as a new international employee and unlocking my potentials.

Both experiences have included a lot of goal setting, prioritizing, and practicing communication and leadership skills. Yet, again and again the discussion has returned to the fundamentals: walk the talk of my values, maintain integrity and orientation, trust.

The coaching process is not always comfortable. Foremost, it means a cascade of difficult questions being asked by the coach and answered by the coachee. A good coach doesn’t tell you what to do. It’s sometimes a triggering and at other times a puzzling experience. Each question can lead to a new perspective, better understanding of the values, expanding the “shell” of previous experiences, and … this is a process where the trust within is strengthened.

The coaching process also involves analyzing relationships, communication, and emotions – hidden or shown. This is not easy either, especially because it’s a business environment we’re talking about. It means a lot of reflection on my own thoughts, words and connections I make with others. However, reflecting on these expands the knowledge of myself, and my fundament is all of a sudden wider and bolder. I trust myself but I also better understand others, and then trust them.

Coaching is not only about analysis. It is about setting goals and planning actions, prioritizing, further reading and practicing skills. It involves a lot of homework, like identifying personal values, analyzing how I practice them, establishing boundaries for myself and others, giving and receiving feedback, and so on. All this helps me expand my capacity and, consequently, I trust myself more. I trust myself to lead.

With the coaching process I’m actually connecting the dots of i) self-knowledge and authenticity, ii) generous and non-judgmental mind for me and my collaborators, iii) unleashed creativity and generation of solutions. It’s about trusting my own ideas and that others too are authentic, generous and generative just like me, and my role is to support them.

So, the coaching experience has been for me about connecting the dots of leadership.